Lelaki Cina Gedik

Dedication to a friend

2010-11-16T06:55:00.000-08:00

Dear friend
The relationship has gone sour
I don't know when it happened
Don't know why or how
And now we're apart

We used to finish sentences
Used to predict the other's actions
I thought I knew what I was to you
But I can't read you anymore
And you don't know me as well as you did

Talking to you is no longer fun
Our laughs so put on
You seem annoyed with me all the time
Is that my fault or yours?

Are you bored of me?

Or the friendship?

I feel used
Taken for granted
But
You probably don't know this
Probably don't care

Should I tell you how
It hurts
The answer is - "nah"

I'm not in the business of changing people
I'm not your mom, your handler
I'm not responsible for your actions, and neither you me
So I keep quiet, seethe
It'll be over soon anyway

Why spoil something that's already broken?
We are at a crossroads
We'll part soon
And never meet, or maybe once
Best thing is

You won't really miss me
So
I'll just keep this to myself, terpendam
As I always do
And you'll go on to live your life, as you always have

I admire how you're like a butterfly
So many friends, everyone loves you

Just so sad to think
All we had
Was really nothing at all
The good times
No more than a useless memory

So goodbye dear
Let's meet once more on that fateful day
And say our goodbyes
Maybe take a few pictures, I'll put them on FB
You'll look lovely, don't worry
And I'll pretend to smile

ASTRO Challenge 2010

2010-11-13T09:00:00.000-08:00

We were handpicked by Limkokwing to attend the ASTRO Challenge that took place just this week. By "we", I mean me, Anne, Kar Woon and Leeza (yeah, our FTV group for the last two semesters - I also wonder how we're always stuck together =p)

Apparently they selected us according to our CGPA. Does that mean we're the top students? Hohoho... *John is erchui-ing* Because only our group was picked from BA Mass Comm! And Geraldine too. The rest of the participants were from other faculties and the Limkokwing degrees.

Anne goofing around at lunch

Anyway, you might be wondering what this "ASTRO Challenge" is all about. I was too, but when I Googled it nothing turned up in my search. So I'm writing this partly as a resource for future participants who might wish to know more about it before attending the event, because we were sure as heck clueless, and our Limkokwing lecturers didn't reveal much either.

The ASTRO Challenge is basically organized by the HR department together with an external recruitment cum training consultancy to find and recruit young talent. Those who pass the "test" earn an internship that could eventually lead to a permanent job with ASTRO. They are running this activity with several universities and I think Limkokwing was the second batch after UITM.

Its a two-day program that takes place at the All Asia Broadcast Centre (AABC), Astro's headquarters and main broadcast station. On the first day we had, of course, a tour of the facilities! That means we got to see the Master Control Room, the AMP radio studios (home of Mix, Hitz, My, Light and various other FM stations) and even the call center division. That was pretty cool la since even their own employees don't get full access around ASTRO like we did.

We were then put into groups and assigned various tasks such as a memory and a strategy game. The latter was rather like monopoly as we had to cross this map while balancing our finances, terrorist attacks, the weather and many other obstacles! These were designed to test our leadership skills and how fast we think on our feet. They were closely observing the contribution of each and every individual.

The "big" challenge of the day, however, was to create a product or service for ASTRO based on a given brief. We essentially had one night to brainstorm, prepare the slides and present it to a panel of judges (head of departments at ASTRO) the next morning. Prizes would be awarded to the team with the best thought-out idea.

Guess what, we didn't win! Leeza and Anne were in my group. I thought Kar Woon's group should've won, but they didn't either. But everyone got goodie bags anyway. We were also asked to do a personality profile test and group profile test. The personality test was the best thing because Anne, Leez, KW, and I discovered that each of us completed the four personality types - which is probably why we work well as a group!

All in all, it was a fascinating two days and I've certainly learnt a lot about myself and made new friends as well. Good luck to future participants of the ASTRO Challenge!

At the CSM-ACE 2010 (pt 2)

2010-11-04T03:39:00.000-07:00

The second speaker at the CSM-ACE 2010 was IT consultant S. A. Khor.

The very funny Mr S. A. Khor. His picture's a bit small, sorry!

Mr Khor had a personal story to tell. Alicia was a teenaged girl, his daughter's friend. It all started when she got an iPhone for her birthday.

On Monday, she Tweeted: "Daddy just bought a BMW X5!"

On Tuesday, she Tweeted: "Driver is picking me up in the Merz today, X5 hasn't arrived yet".

On Wednesday, she Tweeted: "I don't want to go to music class in 1U!"

And on Thursday, she Tweeted that the driver was late to pick her up for ballet class.

This went on until Christmas Eve of 2009, the day in which she disappeared.

True enough, she was made vulnerable via her social networking sites. The crooks could find out from her Facebook page what she looked like, her birth date, family members, address, and her school. And from the photos she took during her birthday, they probably found out if her house had dogs, CCTVs or guards as well.

Not only that, they could obtain her current location from Foursquare and Twitter.

Thankfully for Alicia, she was released five days later - but not before her father paid a hefty ransom. She was unhurt.

This is just one example of the kind of trouble you can get into when too much of your personal information is freely available on the net. So set those privacy settings on FB to the max - its no joke what people will do to take advantage of your ignorance.

Of course, this doesn't mean you should delete your Twitter account this instant, but just be careful that your online activities don't leak out precious information to would-be hackers and criminals.

Final tip from Mr Khor: verify every information you receive from cyberspace at least three times. You know those wacky emails about what fruits prevent cancer or how to unlock your car door using a mobile phone? Don't be a fool and repeat these things hook, line and sinker - check it out first! Its as easy going to Google and typing in several keywords.

Especially email addresses - one person can be 10 people online. He showed us about 12 different email addresses that could possibly belong to badminton player Lee Chong Wei and asked to guess which was genuine. FYI, one address was set up by his friend's son to play a prank on his classmates.

With that, I conclude my report on the CSM-ACE 2010. Hope you found it useful, and remember: you can't be a victim of the net, but you can be a victim of ignorance. Now go fix those privacy settings!

At the CSM-ACE 2010

2010-11-02T08:36:00.000-07:00

I was recently invited to attend this event called the CyberSAFE Ambassadors Convention held at the KL Convention Centre.

The convention is part of Cyber Security Malaysia's week-long Awards, Conference and Exhibition (CSM-ACE) outreach program to educate the public about safe internet usage. FYI, Cyber Security Malaysia (CSM) is an agency under the Ministry of Science, Technology and Innovation (MOSTI) that is in charge of our country's cyber security.

If you're thinking "why should I care?", well here's why: so much of our lives is spent online now - on Facebook, on Twitter, blogs, Foursquare and countless other "social networking" sites. Have you ever thought that maybe you're not so safe online? Ever wondered if people can find everything they need to know about you from your FB profile to plan a kidnapping? It’s all very real, and that's why CSM has organized this series of events.

Anyway, the convention I attended was a platform for four notable experts on IT security to share their knowledge with us non net-savvy folk. I managed to catch two speakers and was honestly surprised at how much I DIDN’T know about online security. First up was Mr Azli Paat who talked about SMS and internet scams.

PROtip#1

I remember my dad getting an SMS claiming he had "won" a big cash prize from Shell. So he replied with a text message saying he'd forward the message and their number to Shell. Bad move. According to Azli, whenever you receive such SMSes you SHOULD NOT REPLY as it will be a sign to the scammers that your number is active. The same thing for bogus emails. Do not try to be smart by contacting or threatening them; instead forward the message to RakanCop at 32728.

Here's how: start your SMS with RC and insert the offending message. The police are obliged to respond as it is part of their KPI to do so. Alternately, you can send an email to aduan@mmcp.org.my - this is the complaints email for the Malaysian Mobile Content Providers Association.

PROtip#2

For internet scams, a good way to check if a bank account number is valid is to simply Google it. If the number exists in Google, it is a scammed account. I think it’s because internet businesses are not supposed to reveal their account numbers online. Azli also joked that the "http" in URLs is short for "have to type properly".

PROtip#3

As for internet banking, you're supposed to insert the exact URL of the e-banking website. Some links could fool you into thinking they're the real thing, so be cautious and use only the URL provided by your bank.

Finally, try not to use public computers or public WiFi for internet banking. There is such a thing as “DNS poisoning” where a hacker hijacks public WiFi servers. If you absolutely must transfer money to your LV-loving girlfriend/boyfriend via public internet, switch the server settings to "Open DNS" to avoid this problem.

That's all from me for part 1 of the CyberSAFE Ambassadors Convention! Stay tuned for the next post in which an IT consultant relates how his daughter's friend was kidnapped after some careless Tweets. :-)

My Car

2010-09-04T06:04:00.000-07:00

I like sitting in my car
listening to the pitter patter of rain in my car
turning on the radio in my car
dozing off in my car

I like driving in my car
the rush of overtaking roadhogs in my car
seeing the blue sky in my car
contemplating life in my car

The only thing I don't like
is how my car likes fuel

Blog Post Terkini

2010-08-31T09:35:00.000-07:00

Its been awhile since the last post, I know. Now I finally have something for you to laugh at.

We were asked to do this writing exercise in journalism class, which is to write one paragraph with the theme "About Me". Macam tugasan tadika pulak. But our lecturer actually had a really good reason for this. Anyway, here's what I wrote:

I grew up in a farm near the sleepy town of Kuala Linsing. There was no Facebook from where I came, no Twitter or YouTube, and definitely no internet, so we entertained ourselves by climbing trees and playing in the nearby stream. It was an idyllic childhood. Besides my 20 brothers and sisters , we had a pet sheep and pet lion in the backyard which we were quite fond of. Being farm kids, mom and dad enlisted us in daily chores like planting and harvesting. Our days were filled gathering blueberries and blackberries, green beans and jellybeans. As an aside, my parents hosted Martians from Planet Wadaheck. They often visited us in the summer and brought goodies. Sometimes it was baseball bats or a herd of cattle, and other times books from England. Overall, I'd say it was the best time of my life.

The lecturer didn't get to read it, I think she would have flipped! Hope you enjoyed it! ;D

Chiow!~

To Joash

2010-06-18T08:43:00.000-07:00

Still can't believe it. Nope, still won't accept it. Today, I discovered that my friend, Joash Wee, died in a car accident on the Jalan Kuantan-Segamat highway.

Not only him, but his father, three siblings and grandmother also perished in the accident, leaving only his mother and two siblings alive, but barely. Worst of all, it was probably no fault of theirs - a trailer had collided with them. As a friend said on Facebook, "It's so hard to find much comfort or meaning in so utterly senseless an accident".

What was most difficult for me, however, was that I had to get this information from a newspaper. Not from a friend, or a relative, but from a cold-sounding, clinical news report. It's certainly hard to find any comfort in that. If you hear it from a friend, at least they break it to you gently, but from a newspaper? It was so surreal. How can someone you know pass away and you find out through the newspaper?!

I'm still in denial. How did such a thing happen to so precious a life? He was only 23. He just finished the last semester of his Mass Communication degree at Taylor's College, and hadn't even attended his convocation. I just saw pictures of him on Facebook at his Christian Fellowship's farewell party, because he was graduating. He just sent me a thoughtful birthday message a month ago. I just spoke to him in January.

We met on the first day of our citizen journalism training course at Malaysiakini, in 2008. I immediately liked him; he was friendly, affable, easygoing. Always had a kind word and a big smile. It's obvious he's touched the lives of many, just look at the endless tributes and messages on his Facebook page and the "In memory of" page his friends started, which has over 1,110 members now.

To be honest, I didn't know him that well, or that long. I didn't know what to feel at first. Should I be distraught? I wasn't - we weren't that close. But I guess we all need to grieve in our own little way, in some way. I was in the office, browsing the morning papers when I found out. I didn't have the time to be depressed, not in the office.

Now I'm home writing this, hoping I will be comforted in some way. My prayers go to his mom and siblings who are still in the hospital. May God bless them, give them peace and solitude at this time, and healing.

To Joash, I wish we had more time. If only circumstances were a little different, we might have been great friends. But I'm thankful, thankful you've gone to be with the Lord. We will meet again, someday, soon. Perhaps God loved you too much. Yes, 23 years on this Earth might have been too short for us, but not for Him. In this time, you have touched many a soul and lifted many a weary spirit. Your smile, your inner joy that radiates from a genuine place in your heart, will be remembered and cherished for as long as we have breath.

Dear brother, no more words can express how I feel. Rest, for you have gone to be with the Lord. I will dearly miss you. Perhaps this will sink in tomorrow, or the next day, but not now, not yet.

The "holidays"

2010-06-15T07:10:00.000-07:00

Some updates are in order.

This semester break, like the past three semester breaks, I've been working. In other words, I haven't had a proper holiday in two years. Yes, yes, say it isn't so, but I guess John is as workaholic as they come.

Anyway, I'm currently an intern in the Marketing Communications department at Sony Malaysia. That means I get to work in a nice office, not in a store! I'm not an IT salesman ok?!

But yeah, this was honestly not a job I was expecting to get. I just saw the ad for it on Jobstreet one day and decided, "Hey, I've got some spare time, why don't I try my luck?" And here I am.

Its a pretty interesting job though. I'm getting along with the people, plus its nice to work in a mall and be constantly surrounded by sales... HAHAH! Eat your heart out shopaholics!

And guess who I met on the first day - Teh Kai Jun! Yup, the one in Tequivicar's final drama. That's how I recognised him actually, from the video. He sits behind me, and he's the graphic design intern for Vaio laptops. If anyone ever needs info on Vaio you can ask him - I guess he'll be an expert after designing all the ads and promo material for Vaio! =p

Don't ask me for any staff discounts though, I'm not a permanent employee and am not entitled to any. I guess I'm done crapping for now. Oh good luck to everyone for their results. We have one semester to go before graduation. After that we can conquer the world and visit the Maldives.

Come visit me in Midvalley if you're dropping by within these two months. Another perk for working at Sony? Free movie tickets! 3D somemore!

XOXO,
Johnny.

So damn EOWH

2010-06-06T06:02:00.000-07:00

I need a new nose because I have a lousy side profile.

Oh and I still have to finish the PR report which is OVERDUE! Leeyi I hate you. I'm just topsy turvy this semester and doing everything at the last minute. This was supposed to be a very "chill" sem but its turned out to be the busiest yet!

And I'm here blogging. Need to let off some steam I guess. To make things worse (or better) my internship starts tomorrow, at Sony. More on that later.

For now, PR report here I come!

Pray for me la = =

A Career

2010-05-01T07:27:00.000-07:00

I so often hear people complain about their jobs. "The boss sucks!" "That girl's fugly!" "Everything's just so sh** around here!" Sound familiar? There's bitchiness and politics in every office. The scariest part is - I just might become one of them, when I join the rat race.

So I'm writing this now, before and in case I ever forget. I want to do something I love. Not something that brings me a lot of money, a nice house, or a fancy car. Not a job that I will dread going to every morning. Not a job that I will complain about on weekends or to my friends. I don't ever want to live for the weekends. I don't want to post "Yay Friday" every week on my Facebook because that would only mean I'm not enjoying my work.

I remember how Dad used to come home with a sour face and something bad to say about his employer. We tell him he sighs too much, that he should have a change of mindset and attitude. But the truth is, we'll never understand his situation.

I don't want history to repeat itself. I want to always have my optimism. They'll never crush my spirit. You may be the one who pays me, but you will never own my soul. Maybe I'm idealistic... oh wait, I am! There's no such thing as the 'perfect' job after all. But whatever happens, I never want to be the person who's first word every morning is a complaint.

Here's to finding jobs we can genuinely love, and not just for the paycheck. Let's keep our heads up, no matter what.

Hokkien Iron Man wor

2010-04-30T02:51:00.000-07:00

I just discovered that one of our FTV lecturers has a side job as a comedy actor. Please enjoy this Hokkien version of Iron Man.

2010-04-13T19:25:00.000-07:00

Me likey ;)

Dear John,

2010-04-13T02:29:00.000-07:00

Why do you have a compulsive need to be better than others? Why do you constantly have to feel like you are academically, intellectually and noticeably superior to the next person?

Is it so wrong if someone upstaged you? Is it so bad if she exceeded you by two marks? Is it so bad that you lost out by four? Are you so petty? Are you so shallow? Is your world so, so small?

Didn't I work hard enough? What did I do wrong? What did she do right? Why did she do better even though I KNOW I spent more time on it than she did? Is the world so unfair?

Why am I judging her? Why am I even comparing myself? Why SHOULD I compare myself? Why is my world so small?

Is your work everything to you? Does nothing else matter? Why can't you live life for today, appreciate the things you have and strive to achieve that which you do not have? Why do you have to be perfect all the time?

I want to find the thing that completes me. I want to be whole. I don't want to have to feel bad for not doing as well as the next person.

Perhaps someday I'll grow out of this. Perhaps someday I'll be mature enough to see the error of my ways. Perhaps one day I won't need my work and my career to feel good about myself. Perhaps one day I will be truly, wholesomely happy, and maybe then I will have found the thing that completes me.

I look forward to that day :-)

I Want to be Thin...

2010-04-04T01:56:00.000-07:00

... because everything looks better when your fat isn't hanging out the side of your jeans! And because I want to wear form-fitting clothes and not have to hold my breath or stand hunched. Sad thing is I haven't lost much weight in the past one year despite my exercise regime.

Looks like I'll be haunting the exercise/fitness websites again soon. And darn those people with high metabolisms! My Australian cousin once said there was this thing called the "slim gene". Too bad its not in my gene pool.

Who's got a diet that works?!

FML.

11 Reasons Why I'm Still Single (and will likely remain so for a long time!)

2010-03-11T04:34:00.000-08:00

Everyone (well almost) has been asking me this question of late: "WHY are you still single John???!?!" So I've decided to compile a list of ten reasons to explain this phenomenon. Please read and laugh where appropriate. Reader discretion advised.

People think I'm gay (I don't blame them, I DO like to dress well and I hang around girls ALOT, yet am still unattached)
I am bossy and arrogant (I don't like being in a relationship where I'm not on top, figuratively speaking)
I have a big ego (not tremendously HUGE, but I do like to be right most of the time =p)
I can be very sensitive (with my feelings -- I am easily offended and hurt)
I like to feel independent (meaning I can't be bothered to call my girlfriend every five minutes to ask about her day)
I am a workaholic (this should probably go under "10 Reasons Why John would make a Bad Boyfriend," but what-the-heck)
I don't have the balls to walk up to girls in the bar/club/pub and say: "You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy"
I like to be alone (not ALL the time, but I must spend time with myself -- ME-time)
I can't stand the hassle of having to constantly think about someone else (I'm high maintenance as it is!)
I hate to look like I'm desperate
I generally dislike human beings (they are too unpredictable, unlike my first love Microsoft Word 2007 which has never failed to satisfy me emotionally, and err.. [censored])

Hope this answers your question as to why I'm still single. Nevertheless, I hope to find "the ONE" somewhere in this lifetime and my happily-ever-after. Until then, I'll be making out with myself.

Ciao!

Taichi

2010-02-09T21:17:00.000-08:00

Its not trust, its called 'taichi'. Just shut up already.

Me + People = Bad combination

2010-01-19T22:15:00.000-08:00

I probably shouldn't be in PR. I'm just not good around people.

The Beginning, the End and Everything In-Between

2009-12-31T21:34:00.000-08:00

A quickie update.

I've had a total of FOUR days of year-end holidays after the previous semester ended. It gets better: I'm working till the end of February, which is a couple of weeks into my next semester. Don't ask me why, the contract was just signed like that, and if I want to quit earlier I'd have to write a letter a week before my resignation, which honestly sounds too tedious.

Anyway, I was inspired to write an end-of-year reflective post after reading Kar Woon's and Leeyi's blogs. The year certainly has progressed rather quickly. Since December 2008 I've held three internships, went clubbing for the first time, didn't lose much weight, discovered the best housemates, and become a whole new person... NOT!

As much as I'd like to think 2009 has changed me in a big, meaningful way, it probably hasn't. Or maybe I just haven't had enough time to reflect. This has been a whirlwind year, if nothing else. Everything happened so quickly, and the most memorable highlights were my 20th birthday surprise (thanks Victor/Leeyi/Karen!), the Genting and Redang trips, and definitely MOS!

Things got so quiet after we left C-3A-7, and things are about to get quieter since Hadhthiah is leaving, as are my favourite seniors who graduated this year. Soon it'll be our turn. My dad never fails to remind me that I'll be entering the working world soon and will have to fend for myself.

Wouldn't it be nice to be like Peter Pan and y'know, never grow up? The idea of having to leave the safety and security of college, "be mature", and "make my own money" seem so daunting sometimes. Maybe I'm just getting old.

Oh and about the internship. It's quite interesting really, I'm learning a lot (though compiling media reports/clippings can be dull!). At this point I'm honestly not sure if public relations is the right industry for me. Theory is just so different from practice. One important lesson though: you DON'T have to be pretty to be a PR person! For more updates on my internship please refer to the PR393 blog, the official blog for PR393 students (Mei Anne and Geraldine have started blogging as well).

What a long post this has turned out to be! Oh and before I go...

MERRY CHRISTMAS from Naga DDB! And to all a happy new year.

You know what to do with it =p

Fear

2009-12-20T05:58:00.000-08:00

Don't be afraid, John. Just don't.

2009-12-06T00:28:00.001-08:00

My FML Life

2009-11-26T17:20:00.000-08:00

In other FML news, I had to pay RM350 to the Desaria management for utilities I DID NOT EVEN INCUR.

Its like this. I went through an entire semester without receiving a single utility bill. This led me to think that my housemates were the thrifty, utility-conserving type, but how wrong I was. The management told me my housemates may have thrown away the bill after it was posted on our door each time. They broke down the RM350 sum into monthly averages and it came up to almost RM100 each month!

I COULD NOT POSSIBLY have incurred that huge bill because I only stay from Monday to Thursday, sometimes even less. And to top it off, I have never even once used the air conditioner! FML. Now I have to pay RM350 for something I didn't use.

The good news is that I've checked out of Desaria (after two and a half years) and am seriously reconsidering staying there next semester. Hopefully a better (read: cheaper) option presents itself soon. For now, I'm just glad to be home.

But it DOES look beautiful at night, doesn't it?

Happiness is... The End of a Semester!

2009-11-26T02:34:00.000-08:00

After all the hard work, stress and strain, toiling and boiling for an entire semester, the end is quite a relief.

We finished editing our final drama on Wednesday and the result is a satisfactory video for us first-time filmmakers. I can't post it here though because we didn't manage to save it in Quicktime movie (we tried, but only the audio was saved). Bummer, now I can't even show people our hard work :(

I won't be having much of a holiday as internship starts next Tuesday. And there are extracurricular activities afoot. I'm not complaining though, I love work and working. Let's hope I don't have to eat my words when I'm drowning in busyness.

Dinner's ready. Tata y'all. And happy holidays.

P.S.
Christmas is almost here!!!

If I Could Turn Back Time

2009-11-18T02:33:00.000-08:00

I am now officially exam-free, hence the new blog post.

And now that the PR exam is over, let me grouch about it. First off, thanks Leeyi for the lovely wishes yesterday, but as much as I crave a HD, I don't think its quite possible. I studied hard, made sure I read everything, memorized case studies, yet I wasn't able to put it all on paper. The lecturer kept reminding us that we have to write as much as possible, to fill out page after page because apparently, that shows how 'knowledgeable' you are.

I think that's a bunch of crap. Just because you can fill an exam booklet to the brim doesn't prove anything, other than your speed-writing abilities. Its such a frustratingly stupid criteria to grade exams by, not that exams are a good measure in the first place.

So there I was struggling to meet the criteria (7 pages for Section A, 3 pages for each question in Section B) and failing. That's one of my epic weaknesses when it comes to exams - I am somehow unable to write lengthy expositions (it doesn't help that I write slowly). Then again, I probably spent too much time thinking and not writing.

As I headed home on the bus however, a thought struck me. My entire happiness seemed to depend on doing well in an exam; my whole life revolved around my grades. I was positively possessed by it, by the number of A's I can get on my transcript. Its hard to explain why this is so important to me. Getting good grades hardly makes you a better person - you are neither more beautiful nor more fulfilled, and the pressure to get the next A is more a curse than a blessing.

Its out of my hands now, but as the saying goes, "do your best and leave the rest to God". So I will. I just wish this wasn't so important to me. It consumes me and makes me a wreck.

Behold the Minidoc

2009-10-16T21:14:00.000-07:00

Yay!

This video marks our entry into the glamorous world of Hollywood (ok not quite, but a guy is allowed a little exaggeration right, especially for a first-time filmmaker!).

We made this film as our first assignment in FTV 121, a mini documentary to promote the 'wonders' of Limkokwing University where we study. And boy, did we explore the 'wonders'. We scouted high and low, hiked hills and climbed floors, woke up early and stayed back late to find the best way to make this.

In class, Mr. Faizul (our lecturer) reminded us that he saw Anne and I one morning arguing for over an hour near the Plaza entrance, LOL! We were deciding/debating on the right shot, and couldn't agree on anything. Worse, we were dry on ideas after 3 days of shooting.

In the end, it all worked out. Anne did the framing and composition, Fate contributed the creative opening/closing and sound, while I basically yelled at everyone to move their butt.

Oh yeah, credits also to PCG for their minidoc which I watched OVER AND OVER to get inspiration. Thanks Kar Woon for helping me get the tape at the last minute, Victor and Leeyi for being my housemates (totally unrelated, but wth). I would also like to thank my Mom and Dad for bringing me into this world, without which this whole thing wouldn't have been possible.

Now enough with the Oscar moment... jeng jeng jeng, the result is below.

I Don't Make Sense Anymore

2009-10-11T07:32:00.000-07:00

Dear blog,

Sometimes I feel so drained, so strained, so tired, so listless. Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing anymore, that I don't make sense anymore, that what I'm doing is pointless. Yes, this is an emo post, so deal with it!

I'm rarely satisfied, never happy, hard to please. I just wish all the expectations of the world could wither away and leave me alone. I wish I had someone to share it with, that I was't so alone in this, that my presence has purpose and meaning. I want to matter, but I don't know how, and often end up feeling bad or not good enough.

Dear blog, what is the meaning of life? A silly question I know, but one I so often ponder in those moments when I stare into space, alone with my thoughts, away from the world. The challenges seem so insurmountable, and a huge, thick wall keeps me from getting to the other side. I work so hard, and feel lost in all my effort.

What's the point? The question has bugged and bogged me lately. I just want to disappear. But I also want to rise again. I think I think too much. I want to leave. I want to move, not move on, but move further, to a place I don't know. I don't know. But I'm not giving up. I will find my answers, but I must never stop looking.

Yours sincerely,
John.

"For Chinese Only"

2009-10-01T07:39:00.000-07:00

Some people are unbelievably racist, and that's not okay.

Anne, Fate and I happened to be at Limkowing's Mooncake Festival today, organised by the China Club. We were tired from filming all day, and decided to rest awhile in the plaza while we packed our stuff. As we sat down, a burly Chinese guy, one of the organizers, told us the section was reserved "for China Club members only". Anne and I could have passed off as members, but Fate and Norman, Malay and Kenyan respectively, obviously could not. He was quite polite, so we decided not to stir up a fuss and moved to the other side of the plaza.

There was a buffet table and the food was free, but alas, it was 'reserved' also. Anne and I had no trouble getting food, but a black guy was told that it was "for Chinese only". He was allowed to get drinks though. Go figure. To top it off, Fate overheard someone saying "I thought I sent the email that only Chinese people were allowed?" She must have assumed that non-Chinese people didn't speak English.

Its completely ironic, and quite distasteful, that Limkokwing "The Global University" would have allowed such a thing to happen. "For Chinese only". Imagine if we were at the Botswana Independence Day celebration, which takes place next week, and tried to sample their food, only to be told that it was for "Africans only". What's the point of organizing a Chinese cultural event for Chinese people? We're in Limkokwing for pete's sake, we should be sharing our culture with the supposedly 'diverse' student community.

I really do wonder what the guy who was chased off might have thought about Chinese people, and I am ashamed of my race. There was a fight in the plaza today among a group of male black students. I shudder to imagine that that sort of discrimination might lead to similar strife between the Chinese and the Africans.

I pray it does not.

People Get My Goat

2009-09-28T10:20:00.000-07:00

You know what my problem is? I can't stand people.

I have a very low tolerance rate of people in general, somehow they end up irritating me even when they don't try. And I just sit there seething in anger and annoyance, I want to leave but I can't cuz its rude, impolite, against the Good Manners I was brought up to stringently observe.

That must be why I'm so anti-social, it just seems much easier to be by myself. On the other hand, avoiding people probably isn't too good for my mental health.

Bring Tissues Next Time

2009-09-27T09:18:00.000-07:00

Had an FML moment today.

After dropping the grandparents back home, I was about to drive off when I was overcome by the sudden urge to sneeze. My nose had been spoiling for a sneeze all day (because I slept with the air-con on!). I reached out for the tissuebox, but to my great horror, it wasn't there.

It couldn't wait, there was only one thing left: my shirt! So I sneezed heartily into it, and my grandmother who was opening the gate turned around and made a face. And I was too proud to ask for a tissue. Next time replace the tissueboxlah!!

Tolong prevent the spread of Influenza A(H1N1), today. Brought to you by the Health Ministry of John.

Blogging about Blogging

2009-09-23T11:29:00.000-07:00

How erchui is that?

It is now 2.05am, and I'm blogging about blogging. Please observe the following tips if you wish to be a celebrity blogger (or at least get more followers than your pathetic circle of college/high school friends):

Leave a "digital trail" i.e. go visit other's people's blogs (preferably famous ones like Perez Hilton or Kenny Sia) and make comments under their top-rated posts.
Make sure those posts are super-duper controversial (e.g. "Kanye West used to be a woman") so people will be curious enough to want to see your blog.
Have a proactive digital presence i.e. link your twitter, tumlr, facebook, linkd, flickr, friendster, myspace, plurk, wordpress, youtube, and whatever else you have to your blog so people may stalk you at all times of the day.
Update frequently, it is the golden rule of successful celebrity blogging. People just can't get enough of your hourly updates even if its: "Constipated. Must have been that rotten sambal from the cat's drinking bowl".
Make sure to constantly check for and reply your reader's comments, otherwise they get pissed and you lose street cred (or blog cred in this case).

So that's it folks, John's Five Steps to A Successful Career in Blogging. May the Blog of Fortune smile upon you. Peace!

"1Daging, 1Malaysia"

2009-09-13T10:19:00.000-07:00

This is one of my all-time favourites from 15Malaysia. Support your local film industry!

Peace.

A Strange Dream

2009-08-25T16:03:00.000-07:00

I woke up from a strange dream about death, and I could't go back to sleep.

In it, someone close had passed away. But it was not the death that was most discomforting - even though I saw the person lifeless on the dining table - but the aftermath of it. My first reaction was: I should call his company and ask if they can give us the rest of his salary.

After that, I started to notice the little things that were missing. I saw myself in a relative's kitchen, and someone remarked that it was so sad that he passed away, now his favourite jar of nuts is missing from the fridge. I also thought about how I would no longer have his number in my cellphone, or speedial. His voice would certainly be missed, as would his jokes, smile and everything else. I wondered if it would be convenient if I could have his car, but then I'd have to drive it myself - that wouldn't be too convenient now. I also dreamt about how his wife tried to break the news to the rest of the family, and how difficult it was for her to do it.

I had to write this down as a self-reminder that the ones we love don't last forever. God put them on Earth to give us care, show us love, teach us lessons and then He takes them back. I want to remember to always cherish those dear to my heart, and not take them for granted.

Yours sincerely.

Dear Yasmin,

2009-08-22T21:04:00.000-07:00

I've wanted to post this for a long time, but due to my procrastination habits, I'm only doing this now.

In the video below, Yasmin Ahmad came to speak about film making, but she revealed so much more about life and the simple way we can make the world a better place. I might not have enjoyed ALL her films, but she is nevertheless one of those talented individuals who opened our eyes to what Malaysia COULD be, rather than how it should be.

We will miss her optimism, and neverending faith in Malaysia.

Fat

2009-07-22T23:25:00.000-07:00

Isn't that a word we're all familiar with?

As a person with weight problems (or thinks he has weight problems) will tell you, losing weight is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. I envy my colleagues who eat and eat and never get fat. Aza had nasi lemak for lunch and tea, and she's thin as a rake. Hiro seems to have a bottomless pit, and can polish off plate after plate. Victor has midnight snacks (bread and lotsa butter!). Too bad for me and my metabolism.

Lee Yi once said "Pity John la, he only eats like snacks,". Haha... I've been having Tiger biscuits and low-fat milk for the last year-and-a-half, and although people tease me about it, I've pretty much gotten used to the routine. Karen once said "I think you're not human!". Lol. Lee Yi also said that "eating with John is like eating alone, its the same theory." Quite true I guess. I just can't bring myself to eat anything oily/from the mamak/fried/lotsa carbs, so I usually end up eating nothing at all, or very little. I actually LIKE going out at midnight to mamaks (PCG, I blame you! ;p), but I rarely ever eat, or will probably only order a drink.

That's whatchu gotta do if you wanna shed those pounds. Maybe I'm just too vain. But it is something I struggle with daily - I wake up in the morning and hate myself sometimes. I will not, however, go the path of eating disorders, I like food too much (that's how I got fat in the first place, hah!).

Anyway, too much ranting on my part, cuz got nothing to do in the office. What was I trying to say? Oh yeah, lose weight, live strong! Hoho ;)

WT*^#@FISH!

2009-07-20T02:00:00.000-07:00

I was scouting for jobs online (I don't need a job, but I do it when I'm bored or need entertainment) when I found the most ridiculous advertisement in KLue magazine's website.

Get a load of this:

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Saturday, 18/07/09 - 22:53PM by raymondser | 19 views | 0 comments

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I laughed my butt off. And don't even get me started on this dude's grammar!

An Internship Full of Coffee

2009-07-07T04:56:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not working at Starbucks.

I was at Malaysiakini for 6 days for an internship cum training (it was more of the latter really), and now I'm starting another at Astro Awani. That's Astro channel 501 for the uninformed, watch it watch it watch it!

Anyway I haven't had anything to eat all day since breakfast (wholegrain cereal); it is currently 8pm, and the only thing I've had so far is coffee in different varieties! Having said that, I love the office coffee machine, it can make choc-o-chino (my fav!), espresso, black coffee, mocha, and even teh tarik (take that Starbucks! ;p). Every office should have one!

And I'm working on this show called In Person where we do personal interviews with celebrities/outstanding personalities with interesting/motivational stories. We did Malaysian rapper/businessman/record label owner Joe Flizzow today. Went to his house (can you imagine, his HOUSE!) and his fashion store in Midvalley Gardens called Sole What for the shooting. He was a cool guy and all.

People at the office are totally relaxed, maybe cuz everyone's kinda young? (no offense to senior citizens!) Oh my friend's calling now, they want to do a live recording in the studio and I wanna watch.

More coffee for me!

Narrative Journalism

2009-07-06T01:21:00.000-07:00

We learned about this new thing called 'narrative journalism' during my citizen journalism internship with Malaysiakini, which basically defies the usual newspaper norm of facts arranged in an inverted pyramid style.

Instead of starting with the 5W's (who, what, where, when, why) and 1H (how) as we are taught in journalism school, this style requires that we use facts creatively, in a narrative format to tell a human story, not just state the bare facts. It was quite interesting actually, quite a departure from how I was trained to write news. Check out this sample of what we did in class; I interviewed several Indonesians in front of the Indonesian embassy and in University Malaya about how they were being treated in Malaysia since the Manohara scandal, Ambalat and maid abuse controversies:

We Are Happy Here

Cigarette in hand, he came suddenly into the frame.

"This is a private matter; something the Kelantan royalty has to deal with," said Faizal, a 52-year-old trader of Manohara Odelia Pinot. "It is not our problem."

His friend, Erwin, was being interviewed in front of the Indonesian embassy when Faizal decided he had something to say.

"Such a matter should not affect relations between Indonesia and Malaysia," he mused.

Indonesian model and celebrity Manohara had come under public scrutiny when she fled from her husband, the Prince of Kelantan, while they were visiting Singapore. Now back in Indonesia, she and her mother have accused the Prince of torture and human rights violations.

Under the sweltering heat outside the embassy, Faizal looked old and worn, his beard betraying his age.

"But we are happy here," he insists.

When the news broke of Manohara's return to her native Indonesia, Rudi was there also.

"There were many headlines; we have as many as 11 television stations in Indonesia so you can imagine the kind of coverage it received. There was coverage everyday."

When asked for his personal opinion, he shrugged slightly. "This is a complicated issue, but not one of national concern."

Rudi, Fai and Khalil were all chemical engineering students at Universiti Malaya. Rudi was taking his PhD while Fai and Khalil were doing their Masters.

Fai took to the camera next. "The media in Indonesia is relatively uncontrolled, unlike in Malaysia, hence there was widespread coverage. It certainly was 'hotter' news there."

Despite that, the men claim, there has not been any hostility towards Indonesians living in Malaysia.

Khalil is especially certain. "Everyone in Malaysia has been good."

I Met Lim Kit Siang!

2009-07-03T16:22:00.000-07:00

Ok its probably not such a big deal, but I'll talk about it anyway.

So I've been involved in this short internship (6 days!) with Malaysiakini - its basically an extension of the citizen journalism training programme I did with them last year. We tagged along with a Malaysiakini journalist for an assignment, which was to cover a press conference by DAP Ipoh Timur MP Lim Kit Siang at the DAP headquarters in Petaling Jaya. We (the citizen journalists, or CJ for short) were told to ask him what he thought about citizen journalism and the power of the new media in Malaysia.

After he spoke at length about the spiralling billion-ringgit PKFZ scandal (check out a video of the press conference here), I asked him whether he knew anything about citizen journalism. The day before, our Minister Information, Communications, and Culture Datuk Seri Dr Rais Yatim was asked the same question, and he couldn't answer it! He knew nothing of citizen journalism it seems, I hope we enlightened him.

I don't think Mr Lim knew that much about citizen journalism either, but he gave this very smart answer: "I was a journalist myself (laughs)... we welcome the new media where anyone can become a journalist... everybody is a journalist, everybody is a reporter, and I think it is most shameful that the Minister in charge of communications knows nothing about it." You gotta hand it to the man, he sure knows how to take advantage of a situation and turn it into a government critique!

And the best part is, my interview was recorded! Unfortunately, I wasn't in the frame, and my voice was barely audible *sighs* But if you pay attention you can hear my voice at 3.35. He asked me if I was a citizen journalist and I said "yes."

Ciao for now ;)

2009-07-01T07:21:00.000-07:00

New Beginnings

2009-07-01T06:29:00.000-07:00

Warning: Do not read the old posts!

Haha... I'm resuscitating this old blog. It was originally started as a working-blog for my citizen journalism training at Malaysiakini; we were supposed to start blogging about 'human rights' and other hard-hitting social issues (politics, crime, etc). Long story short - I failed quite miserably at that. I can throw in a whole lotta crap excuses like no time/resources, but the truth is that I just wasn't motivated (guess I lack social awareness? ;p)

So I'm changing things. This will now be my personal blog, after much persistent nagging by Hiro, Kar Woon and other members of PCG to start one. I need a place to vent anyway, and to deposit my randomness.

To those who know me, you might remember me saying that this is not my first blog. I am notorious for starting and stopping blogs, probably have a few I can't even remember about. There are several simple reasons for that:
1) I am too much of a perfectionist
2) I am too much of a perfectionist
3) I am too much of a perfectionist

Subsequently, there are several reasons why I'm revitalizing this one:
1) I had too much coffee+tea today, am pretty wired
2) I enjoy reading PCG's blogs, so I wanna start my own dammit!
3) Its nicer to blog when you have a whole gang doing it
4) Heck, what else do people do nowadays?

So here's to the start of something new!

The Digital Grapevine

2008-12-05T06:12:00.000-08:00

Blogging is hard work ain't it?

Maybe not if you think a blog is your online vent-space, something most people end up doing. What could be better than kicking off your shoes off at the end of the day, settling into that lazy chair, laptop on lap and music in ear, to type your frustrations away? It can be relaxing to write about the boss' bitchy secretary or the nosy clerk sitting next to you. In fact, it is easy.

But that's not how it should be.

I think our words betray not only our intentions, they also convey a kind of power. Case in point: two colleagues of mine had a fight where hurtful words were hurled and friendships frayed. Colleague A takes the liberty of reporting the incident, not so discreetly, in his blog. Colleague B incidentally has her blog linked to his, and ends up reading said post. Needless to say, it didn't end neatly for either party. I don't know how, but the blog incident actually leaked all the way to upper management, deepening the conflict and feeding the drama. Such is the capacity of blogs that demands blogger ethics.

Some people keep blogs as digital diaries. That's fine - I'm all for saving the trees. However, there is a limit to what we should or should not write, can or cannot do, especially since blogs are open to the entire world. Where are our boundaries? Its up to you. Do with it what you will, as you please, but be mindful that it is not a space to sully anyone's name or reputation. Gossip should not be recorded or immortalized for the world to see, it is best kept for water cooler conversation (and despite how juicy it gets, it never did anyone any good anyway).

That said, I am not suggesting that blogging shouldn't be fun. By all means, criticize the government, your parents, your bosses, the movies, the music, Hollywood, Paris Hilton etc etc. Never self-censor, the world needs more honesty and transparency! Just remember that people can actually read what we put out there and take it to heart.

The Mumbai Massacre

2008-12-02T06:07:00.000-08:00

I would like to take one moment to remember the victims of the recent Mumbai terrorist attacks. There are no words, no media reports, and no video footage that can adequately convey the sheer horror of the massacre and the feelings of those close to the victims.

For several excruciating days, the whole world followed this incident with jaws agape, hands over mouths. I was in disbelief. It reminded me of the Munich Olympics massacre in 1972 when 11 Israeli athletes and coaches were taken hostage and murdered by Palestinian militant group Black September (for an unstinting look at the violence, check out Steven Spielberg's acclaimed movie 'Munich'). The Mumbai murders unfolded before our eyes like a well-scripted movie, only we weren't watching it in the cinema but in the nightly news.

There is no need to go over the sordid details here - suffice to say, mass murder was conducted in the name, or misuse, of religion. Witnesses described the gunmen spraying bullets with a smile etched on his face. I don't know what training these people underwent to attain such barbarism. I'm just glad the whole ordeal is over, but it revealed significant cracks in the government.

Why, people are asking, did the Indian armed forces react so slowly? They apparently took 3 hours to arrive on the scene where they could have taken 2, and after the slew of terrorist attacks plaguing India in the last 5 years, why is the government still responding at a snail's pace? The rule is that crises of this scale must be dealt with in 30 minutes or it will spiral out of control.

Home Minister Shivraj Patil's resignation is too little too late. It is small compensation for the dearly departed and the government's failure to swiftly resolve the crisis. This just goes to show the importance of an efficient government mechanism. If a country is to adequately defend itself and its people from certain death, there is no room for complacency.

As India, and in some way the world, recovers from this tragedy, one can only hope that more is done in the future.

R.I.P.

Negaraku

2008-11-20T04:54:00.000-08:00

This post is dedicated to the media blackouts in Malaysia, which, as I have recently discovered, are more common than people think.

They have never been so apparent as right now, in this time of political upheaval and uncertainty. The recent spate of ISA (Internal Security Act) arrests have put the media on its edge. They are, and perhaps justifiably so, scared out of their pants, afraid to print, write, or broadcast news concerning the opposition (the term used to refer to the non-ruling party, not the bad, opposing party).

That's another thing about Malaysian politics. In North America, they have Democrats and Republicans, but in Malaysia, they have the ruling party and the opposition. One would be deceived into thinking the opposition were 'bad' people based on this discriminatory label. So anyone outside the ruling party in Malaysia - the Barisan Nasional, would be 'opposing'. But I digress.

Because the government issues licenses for media organizations, they are forced to comply to state rules. In other words, if the media don't self-censor, the government does it for them. Either way its rampant media-blankoing.

As a shining example, look no further then the recent Petaling Jaya Candlelight Vigil. Since Raja Petra was released the weekend before, about 100 people had decided to gather at the MBPJ Civic Hall on November 9, 2008, to protest against the blunt use of the ISA on journalists, writers, and opposition Members of Parliament as well as to remember the BERSIH rally from one year ago.

The protest reached a crescendo when the group started singing 'Negaraku' - the national anthem. While the general rule for Malaysians is to stand at attention when the song is played, the police saw a perfect opportunity to surge into the crowd to disperse them. No shots were fired that night, but violence spilled over in ugly cuts, wounds, and other such brutality. PJ Utara MP Tony Pua and Kampung Tunku state assemblyman Lau Weng San were reportedly punched.

The very next day, they filed public complaints during a press conference. I was shocked and dismayed at how NTV 7's nightly news glossed over the subject matter. They never once mentioned the event's name in full nor had they bothered to show any footage other than that of the press conference. Cut to a scene of Home Minister Syed Hamid Albar saying that the protest was unlawful as they didn't have a permit. I can tell you it was handled 'delicately' because I had prior, inside information about the protest. Had I not known, I would've been one of the fools tricked into dismissing the event as 'some rowdy opposition event,' which I assume is what NTV 7 thought.

Let me quote Shufiyan Shukor, Malaysiakini producer:

"When our cameraman Shukri was detained, all he felt was an arm around his waist and a question, "Nak bagi tape dan camera ke nak pergi balai..?" (or something to that effect -- u can read it in malaysiakini.com or watch the interview here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7MVKFjqPSo)

... but before he could say anything, camera taken and he's in the black maria.

When we deal with advance democracies, we can rely a lot on the law, especially since the police in those countries usually are more educated and well briefed on their boundaries in enforcement ... but even this doesn't guarantee safety for the journalist, cameraperson or blogger.

What more in this country when the boys in blue don't get pass SPM?

To survive in this country as journalist, blogger, cameraperson, you have to be a little 'street-wise' ... be on the lookout for the plainclothes guys and gals -- sometimes they wear vests clearly showing they're cops, but sometimes they don't. Normally they give warning -- they scream 'Reporter sana! Reporter sana! Reporter sana!' and point their fingers at you telling you to move away -- turn the camera down and move away ... if you feel brave and willing to push the limit, move away to another scene and begin shooting again. But that night, no warning.

In short, when the cops here want you ... they'll get you. Try quoting the Constitution and the right to peaceful assembly and the UN convention on human rights and media freedom etc... and they don't even bother re-quoting the Police Act on you...they just bundle you in the black maria. You are considered lucky if there is no kick in the groin or a truncheon to the face. Or worst! A smashed up camera!

Last year, they very much left journalists and camerapersons alone. This year we are seeing a lot more harassment."

It seems we have a long way to go.

A Moment Please...

2008-11-20T03:20:00.000-08:00

I've never seen the point of blogging. Really!

It just seemed like another cybernetic trend people jump to much like Friendster/Facebook or the newest phone-laptop-PDA-telegraph. Alas, I am wrong.

Plus, my perfectionist tendencies of writing the perfect blog post (there is NO such thing after all) always gets in the way. I write halfway, then I delete and put it off till the next day (and on and on and on... you know how it goes) - but my ignorant assumptions recently came to a standstill. Blogs, or the internet in general, perform that essential democratic function of connecting people and ideas in a space that is uncensored, unfettered, and unstoppable (well mostly). Goodness knows how many essays we've written on this topic for college.

Like radio, television, or the printing press in their early days, the internet is still a largely uncommercialized mediascape. With the exception of a few countries like China or Malaysia, the internet gives people uncensored access to the world's information. For many people, it is the only sanctuary left for the silenced, shut-out voices of the minority.

So this is what its all about. With this blog, I would like to own your attention for Just One Freaking Second, and direct it towards the people, groups, or organisations that I feel are ignored or undervalued by society. As a student of media studies, I have never been more aware of the insidious censorship or what I like to call 'media-blankoing' that goes on behind the screen, things we take for granted because shutting one eye is easier than opening them to the injustice that surrounds us.

I hope, most of all, for feedback, debate, and vigorous discussion to take place here, for I do not claim to know everything. Perhaps together, we can make the internet, nay, the world, a better place for free expression and democracy.