Not only him, but his father, three siblings and grandmother also perished in the accident, leaving only his mother and two siblings alive, but barely. Worst of all, it was probably no fault of theirs - a trailer had collided with them. As a friend said on Facebook, "It's so hard to find much comfort or meaning in so utterly senseless an accident".
What was most difficult for me, however, was that I had to get this information from a newspaper. Not from a friend, or a relative, but from a cold-sounding, clinical news report. It's certainly hard to find any comfort in that. If you hear it from a friend, at least they break it to you gently, but from a newspaper? It was so surreal. How can someone you know pass away and you find out through the newspaper?!
I'm still in denial. How did such a thing happen to so precious a life? He was only 23. He just finished the last semester of his Mass Communication degree at Taylor's College, and hadn't even attended his convocation. I just saw pictures of him on Facebook at his Christian Fellowship's farewell party, because he was graduating. He just sent me a thoughtful birthday message a month ago. I just spoke to him in January.
We met on the first day of our citizen journalism training course at Malaysiakini, in 2008. I immediately liked him; he was friendly, affable, easygoing. Always had a kind word and a big smile. It's obvious he's touched the lives of many, just look at the endless tributes and messages on his Facebook page and the "In memory of" page his friends started, which has over 1,110 members now.
To be honest, I didn't know him that well, or that long. I didn't know what to feel at first. Should I be distraught? I wasn't - we weren't that close. But I guess we all need to grieve in our own little way, in some way. I was in the office, browsing the morning papers when I found out. I didn't have the time to be depressed, not in the office.
Now I'm home writing this, hoping I will be comforted in some way. My prayers go to his mom and siblings who are still in the hospital. May God bless them, give them peace and solitude at this time, and healing.
To Joash, I wish we had more time. If only circumstances were a little different, we might have been great friends. But I'm thankful, thankful you've gone to be with the Lord. We will meet again, someday, soon. Perhaps God loved you too much. Yes, 23 years on this Earth might have been too short for us, but not for Him. In this time, you have touched many a soul and lifted many a weary spirit. Your smile, your inner joy that radiates from a genuine place in your heart, will be remembered and cherished for as long as we have breath.
Dear brother, no more words can express how I feel. Rest, for you have gone to be with the Lord. I will dearly miss you. Perhaps this will sink in tomorrow, or the next day, but not now, not yet.
