The Beginning, the End and Everything In-Between 9:34 PM

A quickie update.

I've had a total of FOUR days of year-end holidays after the previous semester ended. It gets better: I'm working till the end of February, which is a couple of weeks into my next semester. Don't ask me why, the contract was just signed like that, and if I want to quit earlier I'd have to write a letter a week before my resignation, which honestly sounds too tedious.

Anyway, I was inspired to write an end-of-year reflective post after reading Kar Woon's and Leeyi's blogs. The year certainly has progressed rather quickly. Since December 2008 I've held three internships, went clubbing for the first time, didn't lose much weight, discovered the best housemates, and become a whole new person... NOT!

As much as I'd like to think 2009 has changed me in a big, meaningful way, it probably hasn't. Or maybe I just haven't had enough time to reflect. This has been a whirlwind year, if nothing else. Everything happened so quickly, and the most memorable highlights were my 20th birthday surprise (thanks Victor/Leeyi/Karen!), the Genting and Redang trips, and definitely MOS!

Things got so quiet after we left C-3A-7, and things are about to get quieter since Hadhthiah is leaving, as are my favourite seniors who graduated this year. Soon it'll be our turn. My dad never fails to remind me that I'll be entering the working world soon and will have to fend for myself.

Wouldn't it be nice to be like Peter Pan and y'know, never grow up? The idea of having to leave the safety and security of college, "be mature", and "make my own money" seem so daunting sometimes. Maybe I'm just getting old.

Oh and about the internship. It's quite interesting really, I'm learning a lot (though compiling media reports/clippings can be dull!). At this point I'm honestly not sure if public relations is the right industry for me. Theory is just so different from practice. One important lesson though: you DON'T have to be pretty to be a PR person! For more updates on my internship please refer to the PR393 blog, the official blog for PR393 students (Mei Anne and Geraldine have started blogging as well).

What a long post this has turned out to be! Oh and before I go...

MERRY CHRISTMAS from Naga DDB! And to all a happy new year.

You know what to do with it =p

Fear 5:58 AM

Don't be afraid, John. Just don't.

My FML Life 5:20 PM

In other FML news, I had to pay RM350 to the Desaria management for utilities I DID NOT EVEN INCUR.

Its like this.  I went through an entire semester without receiving a single utility bill.  This led me to think that my housemates were the thrifty, utility-conserving type, but how wrong I was.  The management told me my housemates may have thrown away the bill after it was posted on our door each time. They broke down the RM350 sum into monthly averages and it came up to almost RM100 each month! 

I COULD NOT POSSIBLY have incurred that huge bill because I only stay from Monday to Thursday, sometimes even less.  And to top it off, I have never even once used the air conditioner!  FML.  Now I have to pay RM350 for something I didn't use.

The good news is that I've checked out of Desaria (after two and a half years) and am seriously reconsidering staying there next semester.  Hopefully a better (read: cheaper) option presents itself soon.  For now, I'm just glad to be home. 

But it DOES look beautiful at night, doesn't it?

Happiness is... The End of a Semester! 2:34 AM

After all the hard work, stress and strain, toiling and boiling for an entire semester, the end is quite a relief.

We finished editing our final drama on Wednesday and the result is a satisfactory video for us first-time filmmakers. I can't post it here though because we didn't manage to save it in Quicktime movie (we tried, but only the audio was saved). Bummer, now I can't even show people our hard work :(

I won't be having much of a holiday as internship starts next Tuesday. And there are extracurricular activities afoot. I'm not complaining though, I love work and working. Let's hope I don't have to eat my words when I'm drowning in busyness.

Dinner's ready. Tata y'all. And happy holidays.

P.S.
Christmas is almost here!!!

If I Could Turn Back Time 2:33 AM

I am now officially exam-free, hence the new blog post.

And now that the PR exam is over, let me grouch about it. First off, thanks Leeyi for the lovely wishes yesterday, but as much as I crave a HD, I don't think its quite possible. I studied hard, made sure I read everything, memorized case studies, yet I wasn't able to put it all on paper. The lecturer kept reminding us that we have to write as much as possible, to fill out page after page because apparently, that shows how 'knowledgeable' you are.

I think that's a bunch of crap. Just because you can fill an exam booklet to the brim doesn't prove anything, other than your speed-writing abilities. Its such a frustratingly stupid criteria to grade exams by, not that exams are a good measure in the first place.

So there I was struggling to meet the criteria (7 pages for Section A, 3 pages for each question in Section B) and failing. That's one of my epic weaknesses when it comes to exams - I am somehow unable to write lengthy expositions (it doesn't help that I write slowly). Then again, I probably spent too much time thinking and not writing.

As I headed home on the bus however, a thought struck me. My entire happiness seemed to depend on doing well in an exam; my whole life revolved around my grades. I was positively possessed by it, by the number of A's I can get on my transcript. Its hard to explain why this is so important to me. Getting good grades hardly makes you a better person - you are neither more beautiful nor more fulfilled, and the pressure to get the next A is more a curse than a blessing.

Its out of my hands now, but as the saying goes, "do your best and leave the rest to God". So I will. I just wish this wasn't so important to me. It consumes me and makes me a wreck.

Behold the Minidoc 9:14 PM

Yay!

This video marks our entry into the glamorous world of Hollywood (ok not quite, but a guy is allowed a little exaggeration right, especially for a first-time filmmaker!).

We made this film as our first assignment in FTV 121, a mini documentary to promote the 'wonders' of Limkokwing University where we study.  And boy, did we explore the 'wonders'.  We scouted high and low, hiked hills and climbed floors, woke up early and stayed back late to find the best way to make this.

In class, Mr. Faizul (our lecturer) reminded us that he saw Anne and I one morning arguing for over an hour near the Plaza entrance, LOL!  We were deciding/debating on the right shot, and couldn't agree on anything.  Worse, we were dry on ideas after 3 days of shooting.

In the end, it all worked out.  Anne did the framing and composition, Fate contributed the creative opening/closing and sound, while I basically yelled at everyone to move their butt.

Oh yeah, credits also to PCG for their minidoc which I watched OVER AND OVER to get inspiration.  Thanks Kar Woon for helping me get the tape at the last minute, Victor and Leeyi for being my housemates (totally unrelated, but wth).  I would also like to thank my Mom and Dad for bringing me into this world, without which this whole thing wouldn't have been possible.

Now enough with the Oscar moment... jeng jeng jeng, the result is below.

I Don't Make Sense Anymore 7:32 AM

Dear blog,

Sometimes I feel so drained, so strained, so tired, so listless.  Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing anymore, that I don't make sense anymore, that what I'm doing is pointless.  Yes, this is an emo post, so deal with it!

I'm rarely satisfied, never happy, hard to please.  I just wish all the expectations of the world could wither away and leave me alone.  I wish I had someone to share it with, that I was't so alone in this, that my presence has purpose and meaning.  I want to matter, but I don't know how, and often end up feeling bad or not good enough.

Dear blog, what is the meaning of life?  A silly question I know, but one I so often ponder in those moments when I stare into space, alone with my thoughts, away from the world.  The challenges seem so insurmountable, and a huge, thick wall keeps me from getting to the other side.  I work so hard, and feel lost in all my effort.

What's the point?  The question has bugged and bogged me lately.  I just want to disappear.  But I also want to rise again.  I think I think too much.  I want to leave.  I want to move, not move on, but move further, to a place I don't know.  I don't know.  But I'm not giving up.  I will find my answers, but I must never stop looking.

Yours sincerely,
John.

"For Chinese Only" 7:39 AM

Some people are unbelievably racist, and that's not okay.

Anne, Fate and I happened to be at Limkowing's Mooncake Festival today, organised by the China Club.  We were tired from filming all day, and decided to rest awhile in the plaza while we packed our stuff.  As we sat down, a burly Chinese guy, one of the organizers, told us the section was reserved "for China Club members only".  Anne and I could have passed off as members, but Fate and Norman, Malay and Kenyan respectively, obviously could not.  He was quite polite, so we decided not to stir up a fuss and moved to the other side of the plaza.

There was a buffet table and the food was free, but alas, it was 'reserved' also.  Anne and I had no trouble getting food, but a black guy was told that it was "for Chinese only".  He was allowed to get drinks though.  Go figure.  To top it off, Fate overheard someone saying "I thought I sent the email that only Chinese people were allowed?"  She must have assumed that non-Chinese people didn't speak English.

Its completely ironic, and quite distasteful, that Limkokwing "The Global University" would have allowed such a thing to happen.  "For Chinese only".  Imagine if we were at the Botswana Independence Day celebration, which takes place next week, and tried to sample their food, only to be told that it was for "Africans only".  What's the point of organizing a Chinese cultural event for Chinese people?  We're in Limkokwing for pete's sake, we should be sharing our culture with the supposedly 'diverse' student community.

I really do wonder what the guy who was chased off might have thought about Chinese people, and I am ashamed of my race.  There was a fight in the plaza today among a group of male black students.  I shudder to imagine that that sort of discrimination might lead to similar strife between the Chinese and the Africans.

I pray it does not.

People Get My Goat 10:20 AM

You know what my problem is?  I can't stand people.

I have a very low tolerance rate of people in general, somehow they end up irritating me even when they don't try.  And I just sit there seething in anger and annoyance, I want to leave but I can't cuz its rude, impolite, against the Good Manners I was brought up to stringently observe.

That must be why I'm so anti-social, it just seems much easier to be by myself.  On the other hand, avoiding people probably isn't too good for my mental health.

Bring Tissues Next Time 9:18 AM

Had an FML moment today.

After dropping the grandparents back home, I was about to drive off when I was overcome by the sudden urge to sneeze.  My nose had been spoiling for a sneeze all day (because I slept with the air-con on!).  I reached out for the tissuebox, but to my great horror, it wasn't there.

It couldn't wait, there was only one thing left: my shirt!  So I sneezed heartily into it, and my grandmother who was opening the gate turned around and made a face.  And I was too proud to ask for a tissue.  Next time replace the tissueboxlah!!

Tolong prevent the spread of Influenza A(H1N1), today.  Brought to you by the Health Ministry of John.

Blogging about Blogging 11:29 AM

How erchui is that?

It is now 2.05am, and I'm blogging about blogging.  Please observe the following tips if you wish to be a celebrity blogger (or at least get more followers than your pathetic circle of college/high school friends):

1. Leave a "digital trail" i.e. go visit other's people's blogs (preferably famous ones like Perez Hilton or Kenny Sia) and make comments under their top-rated posts.
2. Make sure those posts are super-duper controversial (e.g. "Kanye West used to be a woman") so people will be curious enough to want to see your blog.
3. Have a proactive digital presence i.e. link your twitter, tumlr, facebook, linkd, flickr, friendster, myspace, plurk, wordpress, youtube, and whatever else you have to your blog so people may stalk you at all times of the day.
4. Update frequently, it is the golden rule of successful celebrity blogging.  People just can't get enough of your hourly updates even if its: "Constipated.  Must have been that rotten sambal from the cat's drinking bowl".
5. Make sure to constantly check for and reply your reader's comments, otherwise they get pissed and you lose street cred (or blog cred in this case).

So that's it folks, John's Five Steps to A Successful Career in Blogging.  May the Blog of Fortune smile upon you.  Peace!

"1Daging, 1Malaysia" 10:19 AM

This is one of my all-time favourites from 15Malaysia. Support your local film industry!

Peace.

A Strange Dream 4:03 PM

I woke up from a strange dream about death, and I could't go back to sleep.

In it, someone close had passed away. But it was not the death that was most discomforting - even though I saw the person lifeless on the dining table - but the aftermath of it. My first reaction was: I should call his company and ask if they can give us the rest of his salary.

After that, I started to notice the little things that were missing. I saw myself in a relative's kitchen, and someone remarked that it was so sad that he passed away, now his favourite jar of nuts is missing from the fridge. I also thought about how I would no longer have his number in my cellphone, or speedial. His voice would certainly be missed, as would his jokes, smile and everything else. I wondered if it would be convenient if I could have his car, but then I'd have to drive it myself - that wouldn't be too convenient now. I also dreamt about how his wife tried to break the news to the rest of the family, and how difficult it was for her to do it.

I had to write this down as a self-reminder that the ones we love don't last forever. God put them on Earth to give us care, show us love, teach us lessons and then He takes them back. I want to remember to always cherish those dear to my heart, and not take them for granted.

Yours sincerely.

Dear Yasmin, 9:04 PM

I've wanted to post this for a long time, but due to my procrastination habits, I'm only doing this now.

In the video below, Yasmin Ahmad came to speak about film making, but she revealed so much more about life and the simple way we can make the world a better place. I might not have enjoyed ALL her films, but she is nevertheless one of those talented individuals who opened our eyes to what Malaysia COULD be, rather than how it should be.

We will miss her optimism, and neverending faith in Malaysia.

Fat 11:25 PM

Isn't that a word we're all familiar with?

As a person with weight problems (or thinks he has weight problems) will tell you, losing weight is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. I envy my colleagues who eat and eat and never get fat. Aza had nasi lemak for lunch and tea, and she's thin as a rake. Hiro seems to have a bottomless pit, and can polish off plate after plate. Victor has midnight snacks (bread and lotsa butter!). Too bad for me and my metabolism.

Lee Yi once said "Pity John la, he only eats like snacks,". Haha... I've been having Tiger biscuits and low-fat milk for the last year-and-a-half, and although people tease me about it, I've pretty much gotten used to the routine. Karen once said "I think you're not human!". Lol. Lee Yi also said that "eating with John is like eating alone, its the same theory." Quite true I guess. I just can't bring myself to eat anything oily/from the mamak/fried/lotsa carbs, so I usually end up eating nothing at all, or very little. I actually LIKE going out at midnight to mamaks (PCG, I blame you! ;p), but I rarely ever eat, or will probably only order a drink.

That's whatchu gotta do if you wanna shed those pounds. Maybe I'm just too vain. But it is something I struggle with daily - I wake up in the morning and hate myself sometimes. I will not, however, go the path of eating disorders, I like food too much (that's how I got fat in the first place, hah!).

Anyway, too much ranting on my part, cuz got nothing to do in the office. What was I trying to say? Oh yeah, lose weight, live strong! Hoho ;)

WT*^#@FISH! 2:00 AM

I was scouting for jobs online (I don't need a job, but I do it when I'm bored or need entertainment) when I found the most ridiculous advertisement in KLue magazine's website.

Get a load of this:

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I laughed my butt off. And don't even get me started on this dude's grammar!

An Internship Full of Coffee 4:56 AM

No, I'm not working at Starbucks.

I was at Malaysiakini for 6 days for an internship cum training (it was more of the latter really), and now I'm starting another at Astro Awani. That's Astro channel 501 for the uninformed, watch it watch it watch it!

Anyway I haven't had anything to eat all day since breakfast (wholegrain cereal); it is currently 8pm, and the only thing I've had so far is coffee in different varieties! Having said that, I love the office coffee machine, it can make choc-o-chino (my fav!), espresso, black coffee, mocha, and even teh tarik (take that Starbucks! ;p). Every office should have one!

And I'm working on this show called In Person where we do personal interviews with celebrities/outstanding personalities with interesting/motivational stories. We did Malaysian rapper/businessman/record label owner Joe Flizzow today. Went to his house (can you imagine, his HOUSE!) and his fashion store in Midvalley Gardens called Sole What for the shooting. He was a cool guy and all.




People at the office are totally relaxed, maybe cuz everyone's kinda young? (no offense to senior citizens!) Oh my friend's calling now, they want to do a live recording in the studio and I wanna watch.

More coffee for me!

Narrative Journalism 1:21 AM

We learned about this new thing called 'narrative journalism' during my citizen journalism internship with Malaysiakini, which basically defies the usual newspaper norm of facts arranged in an inverted pyramid style.

Instead of starting with the 5W's (who, what, where, when, why) and 1H (how) as we are taught in journalism school, this style requires that we use facts creatively, in a narrative format to tell a human story, not just state the bare facts. It was quite interesting actually, quite a departure from how I was trained to write news. Check out this sample of what we did in class; I interviewed several Indonesians in front of the Indonesian embassy and in University Malaya about how they were being treated in Malaysia since the Manohara scandal, Ambalat and maid abuse controversies:

We Are Happy Here

Cigarette in hand, he came suddenly into the frame.

"This is a private matter; something the Kelantan royalty has to deal with," said Faizal, a 52-year-old trader of Manohara Odelia Pinot. "It is not our problem."

His friend, Erwin, was being interviewed in front of the Indonesian embassy when Faizal decided he had something to say.

"Such a matter should not affect relations between Indonesia and Malaysia," he mused.

Indonesian model and celebrity Manohara had come under public scrutiny when she fled from her husband, the Prince of Kelantan, while they were visiting Singapore. Now back in Indonesia, she and her mother have accused the Prince of torture and human rights violations.

Under the sweltering heat outside the embassy, Faizal looked old and worn, his beard betraying his age.

"But we are happy here," he insists.

When the news broke of Manohara's return to her native Indonesia, Rudi was there also.

"There were many headlines; we have as many as 11 television stations in Indonesia so you can imagine the kind of coverage it received. There was coverage everyday."

When asked for his personal opinion, he shrugged slightly. "This is a complicated issue, but not one of national concern."

Rudi, Fai and Khalil were all chemical engineering students at Universiti Malaya. Rudi was taking his PhD while Fai and Khalil were doing their Masters.

Fai took to the camera next. "The media in Indonesia is relatively uncontrolled, unlike in Malaysia, hence there was widespread coverage. It certainly was 'hotter' news there."

Despite that, the men claim, there has not been any hostility towards Indonesians living in Malaysia.

Khalil is especially certain. "Everyone in Malaysia has been good."

I Met Lim Kit Siang! 4:22 PM

Ok its probably not such a big deal, but I'll talk about it anyway.

So I've been involved in this short internship (6 days!) with Malaysiakini - its basically an extension of the citizen journalism training programme I did with them last year. We tagged along with a Malaysiakini journalist for an assignment, which was to cover a press conference by DAP Ipoh Timur MP Lim Kit Siang at the DAP headquarters in Petaling Jaya. We (the citizen journalists, or CJ for short) were told to ask him what he thought about citizen journalism and the power of the new media in Malaysia.

After he spoke at length about the spiralling billion-ringgit PKFZ scandal (check out a video of the press conference here), I asked him whether he knew anything about citizen journalism. The day before, our Minister Information, Communications, and Culture Datuk Seri Dr Rais Yatim was asked the same question, and he couldn't answer it! He knew nothing of citizen journalism it seems, I hope we enlightened him.

I don't think Mr Lim knew that much about citizen journalism either, but he gave this very smart answer: "I was a journalist myself (laughs)... we welcome the new media where anyone can become a journalist... everybody is a journalist, everybody is a reporter, and I think it is most shameful that the Minister in charge of communications knows nothing about it." You gotta hand it to the man, he sure knows how to take advantage of a situation and turn it into a government critique!

And the best part is, my interview was recorded! Unfortunately, I wasn't in the frame, and my voice was barely audible *sighs* But if you pay attention you can hear my voice at 3.35. He asked me if I was a citizen journalist and I said "yes."

Ciao for now ;)

New Beginnings 6:29 AM

Warning: Do not read the old posts!

Haha... I'm resuscitating this old blog. It was originally started as a working-blog for my citizen journalism training at Malaysiakini; we were supposed to start blogging about 'human rights' and other hard-hitting social issues (politics, crime, etc). Long story short - I failed quite miserably at that. I can throw in a whole lotta crap excuses like no time/resources, but the truth is that I just wasn't motivated (guess I lack social awareness? ;p)

So I'm changing things. This will now be my personal blog, after much persistent nagging by Hiro, Kar Woon and other members of PCG to start one. I need a place to vent anyway, and to deposit my randomness.

To those who know me, you might remember me saying that this is not my first blog. I am notorious for starting and stopping blogs, probably have a few I can't even remember about. There are several simple reasons for that:
1) I am too much of a perfectionist
2) I am too much of a perfectionist
3) I am too much of a perfectionist

Subsequently, there are several reasons why I'm revitalizing this one:
1) I had too much coffee+tea today, am pretty wired
2) I enjoy reading PCG's blogs, so I wanna start my own dammit!
3) Its nicer to blog when you have a whole gang doing it
4) Heck, what else do people do nowadays?

So here's to the start of something new!